May 26, 2010

What can you say about a guy dressed in khaki pants, green golf shirt, has a regular hair cut, but he's wearing woman's clip-on pearl earrings? Within an hour ago I was coming out of the grocery store, basket full of grocery bags when this weird little guy approaches. "Hey," he yells. "Do you like your car?" Right away I knew a weird moment was about to unfold; the earrings my first clue. As fast as I could I tossed the grocery bags into the back seat, my heart racing with each toss. All I could think was why all the weirdos find me, because sometimes I think my skin is a natural piece of velcro. Or maybe it's my aura sending out the "weirdo-attracting" vibes. On the other hand, it could be worse. My aura used to toss out "loser-attracting" vibes. But still, why do all the weirdos of the world find me? Is it my friendly face, the way I walk or could it be my car? It's a Ford - not much going on there, but now I know why middle-aged men buy Porsches and Corvettes. Regular cars attract weirdness - hot cars bring on the babes. I get all the unapproachables, but still, weirdos are better than losers, whom in my experience all drove Porsches and Corvettes. Go figure.