May 17, 2010

I need to find a "toad crossing" sign. One I can place beyond my front step. Every time I step out this small toad hops across, either in front of my feet or behind them. My nightmare is that I won't see him hopping, and oh dear, I hate the sound of squishing flesh under my shoe. How does one remove toad guts, any way? And they have built-in disguises, so if I do happen to step on one, it's through no fault except Mother Nature. I'm sure she gave them the stealth covering to protect them from predators, but did she stop to think about my feet? I weigh approximately 126 pounds (depending on the day). I imagine toad's weight is enough to warrant a first class stamp. I hope his eyesight is better than mine. Depending from which side he hops, he's got a death wish if trekking from my left. I might devise my own sign as a reminder every time I step out. There are better things to crush, moving objects of nature not my preference. So, please little toad, beware the eight and a half. I sometimes tread lightly, but comparatively speaking, I am Godzilla in your toad-dom.