Blind Run

Cliche alert: Life changes in a blink of an eye.

Mine has.

One day I feel comfort and security in life,
the next on the opposite end
of the poles.

Reduced to wondering
about the immediate future
and how

I'll survive,

life is just this stupid dance of
rolling the dice and living with
the end
result.

Happiness
fails me
with every roll.

Trust out the window;
curiosity too insecure.

I need answers
but have nowhere to find them.

No on to speak with.

No one I can pull
into the mess
known as my fucked up life.

Yet I can't help but
realize the truth
behind the self-fulfilling prophecy.

I've written about the man stuck
in a loveless marriage
and I have become the man
or perhaps
his bitter wife.

Did not see this one coming.

Can't help but wonder
where I fit in or if I ever did.

Can't keep thoughts connected
or find any balance as suggested
in today's horoscope.

My life is in neutral,
or perhaps grinding gears.

Why the suspense
when I've seen this
unfolding slowly?

Who can I blame?

Or maybe the fates
just like to shake it up enough
to make me wonder about life,

the universe

and why I have nowhere to run
except the corners of manuscripts.